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Title: The Crazy Adventures of Wu Gate
Chapter: 18 of 87
Ah Qiao is so obedient?
Qing Qiao was stunned by this address. She turned around to look at that person.
Mister Qi was dressed in a green robe and was standing in the corner. A harmonious and warm atmosphere surrounded his entire body.
This uncle. Which Qiao are you referring to? Is it the Qiao in Gu Qing Qiao or the Qiao in Qiao Feng?
Qing Qiao didn’t understand what was happening. She saw that Mister Qi kept staring at her. She could only use her own finger to point at herself, “… Me?”
Mister Qi smiled. He waved his hand at Qiao Feng who was at corner of two walls, “You can leave. Don’t keep following her. I’ll explain to the prince.”
And then he turned around to order, “Everyone leave. I have something I want to say to Miss Gu in private.”
Qing Qiao saw that there was clearly no one behind him. She couldn’t help feeling doubtful. Uncle, are you speaking to a ghost?
However, she soon heard a shuffling sound. A few moments later, the voice of a man said, “Yes sir!”
She heard more shuffling sounds, and then there was a flash of a green figure before everything returned to calmness.
Mister Qi turned around to face Qing Qiao and said, “Close your mouth.”
Qing Qiao immediately closed her mouth and looked up at the sky as if nothing had happened.
However, Mister Qi’s next sentence almost made her nose fall. She heard an incomparably plaintive and intimate voice strangely rebuke her, “Ah Qiao is so obedient and good. Could it be that you’ve forgotten even me?
*Sound of terrifying thunder*
The explosion from the lightening bolt was wonderful and splendid. Her charred body from the explosion emitted the scent of burnt coal.
Qing Qiao couldn’t believe her ears. She was struck mute as she looked at Mister Qi in astonishment.
However, the culprit only calmly looked at her with bright eyes and unspeakable joy.
This person at this time could only be described with five words. Happy as mountains during spring.
Qing Qiao looked at the resolute Mister Qi who didn’t look like he was joking and the little abacus in her heart started calculating.
Could this be the most popular trope used in transmigration books? Was this Mister Qi Gu Qing Qiao’s previous lover? En, very good. Then, I won’t have any fear with asking him for help. But, no. This can’t be right! When I transmigrated here, the body was only ten years old. How could this body possible have an unforgettable love story with this uncle? Could it be that this uncle is a lolicon? Is he an old cow that likes to bite tender grass?
As she thought about this, she felt injustice. Ai, author! Why did you arrange a prior lover with a mediocre appearance? Whenever people transmigrate into the female lead’s body, isn’t the childhood sweetheart suppose to be as refreshing and bright as water and incredibly beautiful? Even if there’s an age difference, he should still be the best pear tree out of all pear trees. The female lead was a tender begonia flower that couldn’t be casually pressured and pushed down!
(T/N: The old cow eating fresh grass and the pear tree and begonia flower is referencing a satirical Chinese poem about this eighty year old man who marries an eighteen year old girl to be his concubine.)
Look at “The Tale of Genji” written by Murasaki Shikibu, a female poet. Look at Rin and Sesshomaru…
(T/N: Rin and Sesshomaru are from the anime/manga “Inuyasha”. Rin is a little girl that Sesshomaru, a beautiful demon that’s over 500 years old, adopts. I’m not sure why she mentions ”The Tale of Genji”.)
(Edit 11/13/17: Murasaki explained in the comments that in “The Tale of Genji”, Hikaru, the protagonist, raises a little girl from childhood. She later becomes his wife.)
As she was temporarily indulging in wave after wave of fantasy, she unexpectedly heard another shattering round of thunder.
“Obedient Ah Qiao, you still haven’t remembered me? I went through so much trouble taking care of you back then. I fed you milk and changed your diapers. Did you actually forget everything?”
Mister Qi looked up at the sky in frustration and sighed deeply, “How hateful!”
*Sound of crying* Author, I don’t want to see you anymore! Why did you have to break the fantasy in this girl’s heart? Is there bad blood between us? I just knew you had bad intentions!
Unexpectedly, this old friend was a nanny. Qing Qiao took a deep breath. With her red eyes, she looked as if was going to cry, “… Little Qiao had a very serious illness when I was ten years old. When I recovered and woke up, I didn’t remember anything…”
Mister Qi wasn’t surpised. He faintly smiled and said, “So, that matter was true. I thought this was nonsense that your father had said to outsiders!”
After he said this, he stepped closer, hugged her, and said regretfully, “I haven’t seen you in ten years. My obedient Ah Qiao has grown up and has become beautiful. General Xu’s careful education and care wasn’t in vain.”
(T/N: Just in case, since this was mentioned so long ago, General Xu is Qing Qiao’s grandfather.)
Little by little, Qing Qiao finally learned that Mister Qi was her grandfather’s disciple. Mister Qi had taken care of her back when she still had a mouthful of baby teeth. He could sort of be considered as her elder. She didn’t know why, but when she was five years old, he broke away from officialdom and traveled the martial arts world by himself. In the end, he created a new identity for himself as Wan Shi Tong.
“So many years have passed since then, you probably experienced many things.” Mister Qi ruffled her hair with affection in his eyes, “Obedient Ah Qiao has changed into a weird and imaginative person and has also accidentally become Prince Duan’s future wife. Are you very happy with this?”
Eh? You also know that my engagement to Duan Yu was unintentional on my part? This Wan Shi Tong’s ability really shouldn’t be underestimated.
Qing Qiao softly buried her head in this uncle’s chest and acted cutely spoiled. She completely looked like a young girl who wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure if she should say it, “… If Mister Qi could agree to do one thing for me, little Qiao will naturally become even happier.”
Mister Qi lifted up her face and lightly knocked her head. He said with a smile, “Little girl with a stomach full of evil tricks, what do you want me to find out for you?”
Qing Qiao thought that success was in sight. As she was opening her mouth to speak her wish, she heard an icy cold voice say, “If you really say your request, you’ll have to sell your body to him for the rest of your life.”
She turned around. She saw Duan Yu standing in the corner and staring at them without moving. His entire body was chilly and he was emitting vicious and evil currents.
“… Prince has come here so quickly.” Mister Qi shrugged his shoulders. He quietly move his hands to hold little Qiao’s hands at her waist, “Ah Qiao and I are old friends that haven’t seen each other in ten years, so I only wanted to peacefully talk with her. Why did you go through the trouble of following me here?”
Duan Yu started at the big hand that was placed on little Qiao’s waist with narrow eyes. With a raised voice, he said, “Mister Qi, I know that you’re looking for little Qiao to help you with that task. Don’t forget. I definitely won’t agree to it.”
As he said this, he didn’t overlook Qiao Qing. He fiercely glanced at her, “Are you still not coming over here?!”
Qing Qiao first looked at Mister Qi, then she glanced at Duan Yu. After comparing their expressions, she finally obediently walked over to Duan Yu. It couldn’t be helped. This guy’s complexion looked so smelly, even the smell of septic tanks wasn’t as bad.
Mister Qi didn’t stop her. He only faintly smiled and leisurely said, “What if Ah Qiao is willing? Prince Duan, you can’t bind her to your side forever.”
Duan Yu snorted coldly, looked at him with contempt in his eyes, and didn’t say any superfluous words.
Listening to their words, Qing Qiao felt mystified as if she was amidst clouds and mist. She couldn’t resist poking out half of her curious head from behind Duan Yu, “What are you two talking about? Mister Qi, what is that you want me to do?”
Duan Yu immediately turned his head to glare at her. There was a heavy warning in his phoenix eyes.
Perhaps, he was afraid that she wouldn’t stay behind him. He tightly held her soft hand. The strength of his grasp made her grimace in pain and want to bitterly weep.
“It hurts! It hurts!” Qing Qiao pitifully looked at Duan Yu to beg for mercy, “Quell your anger! Calm down!”
Mister Qi couldn’t help laughing as he pacified, “Obedient Ah Qiao, don’t be scared. I just want you to help me take care of a child. It isn’t a difficult task like ascending the heavens. As a reward, I’ll investigate any one matter that you want. Are you satisfied with these terms?”
Any. One. Matter?!
Qing Qiao was bursting with joy from the pie that had fallen from the heavens and smashed into her. She disregarded the danger that her hand was being clutched so hard that blood would soon be squeezed out. She hurriedly nodded to show her agreement, “Very satisfied. Extremely satisfied.”
Duan Yu was so angry that his entire body was trembling. He viciously flung away her hand and turned around to leave.
“Don’t be tense and nervous. I’m only going to help Mister Qi take care of a child.” She thought about it. No matter what, she and this prince had a “love as deep as the Butterfly Lovers”. If she was going to act out a play, she might as well do the entire set.
Qing Qiao hastily turned around to looked at Duan Yu and said some gentle words to comfort him, “… Since Mister Qi had taken care of me when I was a child, its only reasonable for me to help him with this matter.”
Duan Yu was extremely angry and was the opposite of calm. He turned around and fixed his gaze on her. His face was unfathomable, “Are you sure that you won’t regret this later?”
“Why would I regret this?” Qing Qiao was confused.
Duan Yu hesitated for a moment, then he sighed and reached out with his hand to hold her closely in his embrace, “… You’re so obsessive about this. It would be unsuitable for this prince to say anything. I just hate to part with you.”
“Prince?” Qing Qiao was at a loss from this sudden and unexpected confession. She could only turn her head to embarrassedly look at Mister Qi, “This… Who does Mister Qi want me to take care of? About how old is the child?”
At the side, Mister Qi was looking at them with a strong interest. He didn’t think before saying, “It’s my sister’s son, Shao Yi. He’s fourteen years old this year. One year younger than you.”
“Fourteen years old?” Qing Qiao was taken aback by surprise. She had originally thought the “child” mentioned by Mister Qi was a baby. “Why would a person of this age need me to take care of him?”
Mister Qi gave her a look of “don’t be impatient” and unhurriedly explained, “Shao Yi has many servants at his side. Naturally, he doesn’t need you to take care of him. I don’t know why this is happening, but lately, he has started to refuse to eat. He doesn’t have the slightest interest towards any delicious and rare food. It’s causing his body to become thinner and thinner each day…”
“That’s anorexia. You should bring him to a doctor.” Qing Qiao suggested to him with good intentions.
“The imperial doctor has examined him and could only speculate that it’s an emotional problem. Other people couldn’t produce the slightest idea.” Mister Qi’s face showed the desolateness of having no other options, “… I’ve been looking for effective medicines in order to find something to improve his appetite.
“… What does this have to do with me?” Qing Qiao tilted her head with a smile. Her head was full of questions.
Mister Qi’s eyes were curved in a smile. He smiled as if he had already planned this outcome, “It’s naturally related to you. Ah Qiao’s love for food is incomparable with an ordinary person’s. With your joyful heart and persistence, I think you’ll definitely be able to influence my peculiar nephew. Your mission will be considered satisfactorily complete the day that he peacefully eats his meals.”
After a moment of pondering, Qing Qiao held her breath and carefully said, “… Said in another way, my mission is only to make your nephew a little fatter?”
“Exactly.” Mister Qi smiled, “Ah Qiao is as clever as expected.”
“… Words by themselves are empty. What will be used to evaluate that his weight has achieved your desired standard?”
“You don’t have to worry about this. We’ll use the average weight of males that are the same age as him as the standard. The specific measurement plan would be as follows: First, his weight would be weighed and recorded for any changes by a specialist every day. Second, the best tailor will measure his figure every month to report any changes in measurement. In short, numbers will determine everything. Obedient Ah Qiao, do you think this is fair?”
Mister Qi’s eyes were radiantly bright. There wasn’t anything that Qing Qiao could say was wrong and she felt that this reward was real and very tempting, so she simply nodded as a reply.
At the side, Duan Yu was peacefully looking at the scenery and no longer tried to stop them.
Qing Qiao sighed in relief. The complicated matter was finally made clear and settled.
Ai, when she thought about this, there wasn’t a good feeling. When other female leads transmigrated, they were either stirring up trouble in the martial arts world or the imperial court. But when she transmigrated, her first case was actually being a nanny to a fourteen year old. She could have accepted this if it was just being a nanny. But, her only mission was to make this teenage eat a little bit more and grow fatter. Wasn’t this the same as being tasked to feed a pig? As an elite modern woman, where would she put her face?
Heavens, you’re so jealous of real talent that you’ve become crooked!
Ah, you don’t even pity highly talented individuals!
After growling these lines, she resentfully returned home, bathe, and fell asleep.
——–
Mister Qi was very efficient with his work. On the next day, he sent a servant to Gu residence with a letter that said he wanted to invite Miss Gu to visit him in three days to reminisce about old times for at least two months because they haven’t seen each for many years.
How could he so brazenly invite a lady like this? Qing Qiao wanted to curse him when she read this and was secretly worried about her father’s reaction.
However, she didn’t know what wrong medicine Gu Shang Shu had taken. He cheerfully agreed without another word.
“… You’re not going to express even a little bit of worry?” Qing Qiao looked at Gu Shang Shu with a surprised expression.
“Why would I worry?” Gu Shang Shu knocked her little head. He couldn’t help laughing, “Since its Mister Qi that invited you, it must be an important matter. I completely trust him.”
Qing Qiao’s mouth flattened. This uncle’s influence isn’t small and his background isn’t ordinary.
She returned back to her room to pack up.
Dong Xi followed behind her and persistently pleaded, “Miss, I was wrong. Please bring Dong Xi with you.”
“You were wrong? What did you do wrong?”
“Dong Xi shouldn’t have been misled by the prince’s beauty and brought the prince to the reception pavilion without informing you first and letting the prince see things that he shouldn’t have seen.”
“Humph!”
“Miss! Dong Xi just became muddle-headed for a moment! Dong Xi wouldn’t dare to do this again! Dong Xi is absolutely loyal to Miss… Dong Xi’s love towards Miss is more solid than gold… Dong Xi only begs that Miss considers my years of service and not drive away me away…”
“Hey! Stop! What nonsense are you saying? First, I’m not driving you out. Second, I haven’t punished you. Don’t you live very well in Gu residence?”
“Ah, that, Dong Xi was too excited and said the wrong thing… Anyways, please don’t snub and treat Dong Xi coldly. Dong Xi’s heart only has Miss. No beauty will ever enter Dong Xi’s eyes again!” Dong Xi promised. She looked up with her watery eyes and started sobbing.
Seeing this, Qing Qiao couldn’t resist. She sighed and stroked the servant girl’s head.
“… You don’t have to be so extreme. Duan Yu is rather attractive. It’s understandable for you to feel love at first sight and to blind chase after him… Back then, this Miss also fell in love at first sight with Neal Wu and would dream about him. Ah, that beautiful youth reading behind a white curtain…”
(T/N: He’s a middle-aged Taiwanese film director and the beautiful youth is referencing a scene from a film that he directed.)
Once again, Miss began to start to fall into her past memories and couldn’t free herself.
“Oh right, Miss, this time your going to Qi residence for at least two months. It couldn’t be that Prince Duan didn’t have any objection, right?
“Objection? Not really. He only sent a servant to give me this letter… Oh, I haven’t opened the letter yet. Help me by looking at what’s written in the letter.”
Dong Xi opened the envelope to read the letter and couldn’t resist letting out a burst of laughter, “Miss, the prince wrote that his heart feels sad when thinks that he probably won’t be able to see you for a long time. In accordance to popular conventions, he hopes to receive an item worn close to the skin that’s handmade by you.”
“… There’s really such a custom?” Miss opened her beautiful eyes wider.
Dong Xi covered her mouth and nodded, “People who are engaged all do this. Miss, you should also send the prince a keepsake.”
“Ah, what would be a good thing to give him? An item close to his skin…” Miss looked up at the sky with a confused face, “Don’t tell me I’ll have to give him underwear? But, I really don’t know his measurements…”
Dong Xi’s entire face was red as she shyly mumbled, “Miss… Miss, you don’t need to be so bold… Giving… Giving a sachet would be fine…”
“Oh, there’s also sachets!” Miss sighed as if she was relieved of a burden, “How could I have forgotten this opportunity?”
The day before she was leaving, Miss summoned Dong Xi and handed her a paper bag.
“Give this to Prince Duan.” Miss ordered.
Dong Xi looked inside the paper bag. She couldn’t help being shocked. There was a crooked cloth bag quietly laid inside the paper bag. Although she could see that the cloth bag was made from the highest quality material, the workmanship and pattern was ugly no matter how she looked. Also, she couldn’t tell what had been stuffed inside the cloth bag. It emitted a faint medicine smell.
The strangest thing was that this cloth bag was too big. It was as big as a sesame bun!
“What… What is this?” Dong Xi looked at Miss blankly. She thought that she had already been thoroughly defeated by Miss’s surprising item.
“Of course, it’s the close to skin keepsake that I’m giving Prince Duan!” Miss winked at her.
“… It shouldn’t look like this, Miss! There should be fragrant spices inside the sachet. And this size… This size is slightly too big…” Dong Xi voice became sorrowful and she closed her eyes. Her body couldn’t help shaking a bit.
“Hehe, don’t worry. Of course, I know this isn’t a sachet.” Miss quickly explained, “But Prince Duan was only willing to give me three days. How would I be able to make him a sachet in that time limit?”
“… Then… What exactly is this?” Dong Xi glanced at the big cloth bag in her hand. In heart, she thought it was still okay when didn’t look at it. The more she look, the more afraid she became.
Miss mysteriously smiled. With a voice that was 30% prideful and 70% playing a prank, she replied, “This is Gu Qing Qiao’s 505 Shengong Yuanqi bag.”
(T/N: Shengong Yuanqi literally translates to miracle vitality. 505 Shengong Yuanqi is a brand of medicine in China that’s made by combining 60+ herbs.)
(T/N: I really like Qing Qiao and Dong Xi’s relationship. In normal historical novels, it seems that the servants don’t even exist unless their master is ordering them to do something.)