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Title: The Crazy Adventures of Wu Gate
Chapter: 10 of 87
Life ~ bitter ~ short.
Why not use this time to seek pleasure? If a peerless, beautiful man held you tightly in his embrace and looked towards your sensitive place * and kept blowing into it, would your whole body become soft like cotton and not want to get up?
* (Author’s Note: ear haha. Anyone who was thinking of something else, go slap yourself thirty times!)
When QingQiao recovered her senses, she had long become a ball of melted clay in Duan Yu’s arms. Duan Yu winked at her. His smile was exceptionally ambiguous.
“Prince, Prince Duan Yu, this is very improper!” Her cheeks were scalding red as she tried to helplessly push him away. Duan Yu’s strength was too strong. His arm was like a copper wall. He had her firmly confined. No matter how much she pulled and pushed, his arm was motionless.
Grandmother is a bear (swear word/phrase), I didn’t think you would have this type of tricks! Although I, Gu QingQiao, have a small body, my resolve is big. No time to rest when living. My hands and feet will continue moving.
I push forward ~
I pull up ~
I pull down ~
I poke, poke, poke ~
Duan Yu finally couldn’t help responding, “Be good, stop moving!”
He told me with a sharp look, “This Western Region colt is easily startled. If your flailing startles him, even if there were ten of me, they won’t be able to rein him!”
What? So, you’re that useless. You can’t even control a horse? No wonder you needed to adopt a group of crow men. You need them to assist you when you’re in public places. QingQiao’s lips faintly smiled. She looked at him with incomparable resentment for a moment, but ceased moving her hands. Keeping her life is more important.
Duan Yu looked at QingQiao. She had indignant look on her face, but she didn’t dare to speak. Without reason, he laughed.
“Scared? Don’t be scared.” He started to puff into her ear again. His tone was pampering, “This is the Western Region’s best Ferghana horse (also known as Heavenly horse). There’s only one every fifty years. After I tamed him yesterday, I rushed to the temple to see you. What do you think? Do you like him?”
QingQiao casually looked at the golden colt. En, his mane is long and relatively bright. He doesn’t seem to have any unpleasant odor. He must not be an inferior breed. Those were the only things she could think. After all, she didn’t know anything about horses.
“… Ferghana horse will only select one master in its life. Only the person it recognized as its master can ride it… Are you happy that I took you out to go for a spin in the fresh air? This is treatment that other people can’t even get by begging,” Duan Yu continued to chatter. His mouth was almost touching her ear.
Yeah, right. Who cares about your Ferghana horse? Is it as fast an airplane? Is it as steady as a train? The most hateful thing about this strange horse is that it only carries one person. Grandmother is a bear (swear word/phrase). No wonder, my butt hurts. I’m an overload of its capacity.
While QingQiao silently cursed this precious horse, she moved left and right to try to find a more optimal sitting spot. After moving around, she still found that the best position was by the prince. So, without being aware or thinking, she shifted there.
Subsequently, Prince Duan Yu’s eyes blackened and shined. (T/N: Lol, if only he knew what QingQiao was thinking.)
Now that her butt was comfortable, she was interested in talking, “What’s the name of this horse?”
“What does little Qiao think he’s called?” Duan Yu asked.
QingQiao pursed her lips. Her eyes had a cold light. Without a smile, she said, “If it isn’t Ji Feng (Swift Wind), then it’s Taxue (Snow Walking). If it isn’t Jinglei (Sudden Thunder), then it’s Shandian (Lightening). Anyways, his name is definitely related to one of the elements.”
“Its none of them. Although it is somewhat related,” Duan Yu looked at her with an enquiringly gaze.
Oh? According to time traveling rules, colts are usually named some variation of Feng (Wind). So QingQiao predicted, “Bao Feng (Violent Wind)? Kuang Feng (Wild Wind)? Or is it Huanjuanfeng (Hurricane)? Anyways, I know it wont be Choufeng (Spasm).”
Both Prince Duan Yu and the colt were silent for a moment.
(T/N: For chou, the author used 抽 instead of 臭, but the those two words sound the same if you’re not paying attention to tone, so Duan Yu might have heard it as Smelly Wind instead of Spasm.)
“… He’s called Zuo Qing,” Duan Yu finally opened his mouth. “because he was sent here in spring.”
“What? Why does that sound like a person’s name?” QingQiao dropped her chin and almost fell off the horse.
“Why not give him a person’s name?” Duan Yu arrogantly said, “His life is more valuable than a person’s. Twelve cities were traded in exchange for him. Do you think it was worth it?”
OMG! Too extravagant! This was burning money! This prodigal should die! QingQiao wanted to beat her chest.
“Did your emperor brother not care? How could he let you go as far as trading the territory for twelve cities for a Western Region horse?”
“It wasn’t our country’s territory.” Duan Yu looked at her with a strange expression, “This horse was part of the Western Regions’ tribute. Their envoy had said they traded twelve cities to get this horse. So, this horse is very precious.” After he said this, Duan Yu’s god-like face slightly changed color.
That envoy must have lied to your emperor brother!
QingQiao had originally wanted to say those words, but instead she unknowingly asked, “Then what about me?”
Duan Yu came back to his senses. His eyes looked questioningly at her.
“… Whose life is more valuable? The colt’s or mine?” QingQiao numbly looked at the faraway Jade River. Her eyes held a thread of confusion.
“… So Little Qiao is jealous?” Duan Yu slowly lowered his head until his chin was placed on her shoulder. His eyes were twinkling. “Although this horse is more valuable than a common person, how could it compare to even one of your smiles? If you truly don’t like him, I’ll order someone to kill him and peel off his skin to make you a pair of boots. Are you happy?”
Peeling… QingQiao’s body had goose bumps. “Don’t, definitely don’t! Prince, you should keep this precious horse. Don’t do impulsive actions because of me. Maybe, one day when you come to visit me and do a performance with the horse, I’ll smile even more.”
Duan Yu was silent for a moment. He suddenly buried his face in her neck and burst out laughing. This little kitten was really suited to his taste.
QingQiao couldn’t help sighing. Really! Even if she only used a toe to think, she should have known that the prince was only joking.
When one horse and two people had traveled through the forest for a long time, there was suddenly a young girl’s heart-rending screech that startled a group of birds into flying.
“Ah! Prince, where is Dong Xi?” The girl in his embrace looked left and right and everywhere else. Duan Yu’s face had three black lines. (T/N: It means he speechless and he can’t believe what he’s hearing.) They had already ridden the horse for a long time. Now, she thinks about her servant girl?
“I had Xing Si accompany her. They’re drinking tea.”
Silence.
“Eh?” And, then there was another screech that frightened the heavens and earth enough to cause the spirits to cry.
“What’s wrong?” Duan Yu lowered his head.
“That… that…” QingQiao twisted her sleeves and raised her head. Her face was flushed and her eyes were teary.
“What’s wrong? Why are you so upset?” Duan Yu’s heart was racing. Without his conscious thought, his voice lowered and there was a lingering, hinted appeal.
“Since warrior Xing isn’t here… and you can’t rein the horse… we… would it better to return? Just in case we get attacked by assassins…”
Silence.
Wu wu. What a scary gaze. She quickly stopped talking.
—–
Zuo Qing seemed as if he felt the man’s anger. He spread his four hoofs and ran at a lightening speed. His entire mane flew up. Suddenly, Zuo Qing heard a strange, low voice singing. The voice seemed as if it was intoxicated.
“Freely following the wind,
Chasing after the thunder and lightning’s power, and
Placing the vast ocean into my chest.
Even the smallest boat can sail distant sea voyages,
Oh ~~
Following the wind,
Using dreams as wings,
Daring to love, daring to do, and
Bravely tempering through battling hardships.”
Silence.
Burst ~ The devilish sound burrowed into Zuo Qing’s brain.
Before he could vomit blood, Duan Yu covered the demon’s mouth. The world regained its peace.
A long time later.
QingQiao said in a quiet and delicate voice, “Prince…” Her voice was gently and cautious.
“What?!” He was already past the point of impatience.
“Umm… this doesn’t look like the direction to Gu Estate. Are you sure you’re not lost? Or… are you taking Little Xiao somewhere else? Hey! Hey! Where we going?”
“To. Eat. Meat.” This time, Prince Duan Yu couldn’t stop himself from flying into a terrible rage. He whipped the horse.
—–
Elderly crows perched on withered trees and aged vines.
There was an inn at the horizon. A man with the last name of Qian owned it. He was born with a plain uncle-like face, but his standard for looks was very high. He was still single at thirty.
Today, Qian ZhangGui was at the front desk fiddling with an abacus. His heart suddenly had a strange feeling, so he raised his head to look at the nearby road. He carefully considered closing the inn early today.
All of a sudden, he saw a golden cloud tangled up with black mist hurtling to the front of his inn.
Clatter of a horse’s hooves. The golden cloud came closer and closer. Qian ZhangGui was finally able to see that it was a galloping horse. On the horse, there was a couple that was closely embraced together. The man had a heroic and compelling presence. The young woman was delicate and sweet. It was a rare sight of a happy couple… but why were their faces so unpleasant?
Before Qian ZhangGui could figure it out, the precious horse had stopped at the front of the inn. The beautiful man vaulted off the horse.
With both hands behind his back, he said to the young girl, “Come down!” His face was ashen and his voice was stark.
“So high… I’m scared…” The young girl shook her head. She shrunk back. Her eyebrows were knitted in distress and her cherry lips pouted. She seemed embarrassed and awkward.
The beautiful man only coldly, “humph.” He wasn’t moved by her actions.
Oh! It seemed as if they weren’t a happy couple. Could they be siblings?
Qian ZhangGui looked at the lovely, embarrassed girl on the horse. His heart was unexpectedly happy.
“Will someone come help me?” The young girl looked around. She pitifully said, “Just lend me one hand please…”
Qian ZhangGui quickly walked forward a few steps. He couldn’t stop his heart from heating up. He saw the beautiful girl extend her hand.
“Go back!” The beautiful man shouted and stared at him with a stern face. He had an overflowing, majestic aura.
Qian ZhangGui could only gloomily retreat and hide himself.
“No one can help you! Figure out a way on your own. You must come down the horse even if it means falling to your death!” After the beautiful man flung down these words, he shook his sleeves and turned around to leave as if he didn’t care about the other’s feeling at all.
This little brother, you’re too cruel! Even if you’re handsome, you can’t act this way. Look at the young girl on the horse that’s trembling in fear. She should be tenderly loved. Oh, little darling, be careful. Uncle will come help you.
Qian ZhangGui’s eyes was full of heart-shaped bubbles.
“… Prince…” The young girl had become panicky. She quickly stammered with a tearful voice, “I didn’t expect that today… merely because of a song… the prince would abandon little Qiao… wu wu… those transmigration novels were liars… originally, I thought the prince would like me.”
Before she could finish saying, “The song I sang”, the beautiful man had dashed back to the horse at the speed of light. With the suddenness of a thunderbolt, he had steadily brought the young girl off the horse.
“Don’t cry. Of course, I like you,” He kissed the young girl’s eyes as he persuaded her. His eyes were full of joy. The entire sky was full of floating pink bubbles.
Bang!
The pink bubbles popped the heart-shaped bubbles. Qian ZhangGui’s pure crystal glass heart was broken.
(T/N: I didn’t notice until this chapter, when QingQiao is thinking, she refers to herself as Gu QingQiao instead of her original name. Even though QingQiao keeps saying she longed to go back to her modern life. Or maybe, this is just an oversight by the author.)
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